Guess who’s reuniting with Peyton Manning in Denver.
Super LOL XLVI: “I Am A Super Bowl,” by Jake Weisman
(Jake Weisman is a comedian, a football fan, and now a Super Bowl champion. Was he a member of the New York Giants? Pretty much he was. And now he’s returned to NFL Off-Season to talk about football and fatherhood, and to show off the Lombardi Trophy.)
I Am A Super Bowl
I generated a lot of controversy with my last piece about the New York Giants. I know this because all sorts of people were coming up to me afterwards saying things like “Sir that’s not your credit card number, that’s MY credit card number. How did you get that information?”
And I genuinely hate those kinds of questions, and controversy in general, because, honestly, I’m still God, and I don’t need to be asked anything ever. And if you’re thinking right now, OK prove to me you’re God Jake, then it’s like, if I’m not God, then who is this guy standing next to me with a gun?
You might have a few questions for for me so far. Like I bet you’re begging to ask: “when’s Wheel of Fortune?” Pretty rude if you ask me. Next time ask politely like this: “when’s Wheel of Fortune, please?” I won’t answer, but that’s not because I don’t like you, it’s because Wheel of Fortune got canceled.
Oh yeah, so my Dad loves me again. Because the Giants won the Super Bowl. Now the only thing left in my life that sucks is I never had a father to begin with.
That being said, did you guys watch that game? What a game! If I can say one thing about THAT game, I’d wish for my father to be real instead.
Go Giants football!
Oh also, I attached a picture of me winning the Super Bowl this past Sunday, which is also featured on my blog Pictures Of Me Having Sex.
(Follow Jake on Twitter here: @weismanjake. See his erotic art here: Pictures Of Me Having Sex. Watch videos from Jake’s sketch group, Women, here: Women Comedy.)
“This is still a Cruz and (Hakeem) Nicks game. I know we’re right on them tight, but those are still the guys. Make them go to Manningham.”
- Bill Belichick
/via Quickish
The “Polish Goalline” tactic and the Super Bowl
Graydon Gordian highlights how the NY Giants might have purposely sent 12 men on the field. Did Tuck really try to get off the field in time? Was it smoke and mirrors? Was this a case of Bill Belichick getting out Belichick’d? You decide.
On the third to last play of the Super Bowl the New York Giants were penalized for having 12 men on the field. However the Giants largely benefited from the play: The 5-yard penalty put the Patriots at their own 49, but New England lost valuable seconds and was prevented from completing a pass by the extra defender. After the play there was a mere 9 seconds left to move the ball over 50 yards.
I’d argue that the Giants sent the twelfth man out on the field on purpose, using a slightly altered form of Buddy Ryan’s “Polish Goalline” tactic:
The opponent is inside the 5 yard line going in to score. There is less than 15 seconds left. We want to stop their offense from scoring and in the process, we want to run the clock down to where they have enough time for just one play. So, we will stop them, get penalized half the distance to the goal, but leave them with enough time to run one play. We will then go back to our regular goal line defense and stop them to win the game.
Although originally used in a goal line situation, the same logic applies to what Tom Coughlin did in the closing seconds of the Super Bowl. It’s a pretty clever idea, honestly.
UPDATE: Somewhat disappointingly it appears that this was not an instance of the “Polish Goalline” tactic. As Deadspin pointed out, during the replay you can clearly see Justin Tuck, helmet off, hustling toward the sidelines. But he fails to get off the field before the ball is snapped. The graphic NBC used to point out the 12 men made it look as if they were all set, but the video replay makes it clear that the penalty was genuinely unintentional.
“Based on the above chart, fans that waited to buy until the last minute were rewarded with bargains. The get-in price dropped over 56% in the 5 days leading up to XLVI with the average price dropping 32%. At game-time, upper level seats were selling for right around $1,000, which was 56% below the get-in price last year.
For XLV, Steelers and Packer fans alike flocked to Dallas. This year, however, interest was lopsided. In the days leading up to the game, we saw 500% more traffic from the Tri-State area than from Massachusetts. Perhaps it was the shorter drive (12 hrs vs. 15 hrs), or just a case of championship fatigue in Boston (poor Bostonians), but Patriots fans were significantly less interested in the game than Giants fans.
As for the most active buying windows, we saw 61% of tickets sell in the 5 days after teams were set and 27% in the 48 hours before the event. Because so many brokers attend the Super Bowl themselves, last minute logistics were easy to manage.”
(via Ticket IQ)
“I’d rather come to this game and lose than not get here. Hopefully we’ll be back at some point. We had a great year, we just didn’t make enough plays.”
(Photo by Al Bello/Getty Images)
“I was yelling to him, `Don’t score, don’t score.’ He tried to stop, but he fell into the end zone.”
- Eli Manning on Ahmad Bradshaw’s 4th quarter touchdown.
(Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)
Your Super Bowl 46 game winning play!
(not exactly one that we will tell our kids about, but it ended up working out)
Champion: Noun; A person who has defeated or surpassed all rivals in a competition, esp. in sports.
All the talk will be about “Elite” Eli, Coughlin the Coach, even Mario Manningham’s magnificent grab, & deservedly so, but take a moment to consider Mark Herzlich & his journey.
He beat cancer, after being told to forget football & maybe even walking ever again. He went undrafted. When the NFL returned from it’s lockout, he chose to sign with the Giants, making the squad out of training camp. While he may have been inactive tonight, as his teammates won the Lombardi trophy, there is no doubt that his life’s story can be defined by just one word tonight.
Champion
