In order to win the Super Bowl, the Broncos sacrificed a virgin.
(Source: siddman)
Well, I’ll be dammed. Tebow was in Vegas and even TM-freakin-Z couldn’t find dirt on the guy.
The Denver Broncos quarterback was spotted strolling through the Bellagio hotel last night along with his brother and a friend … after catching a performance of the Cirque du Soleil show, “O.”
We spoke to Tebow’s rep … who told us Tim was in town for a Nike photo shoot … and was only in Vegas for the day.
We’re told Tebow didn’t gamble, didn’t party, and definitely didn’t attend the big AVN porn convention that happens to be going on down the street.
HE DIDN’T EVEN GO TO THE PORN CONVENTION DOWN THE STREET?!?!?!??!?!?
This kid’s got the will power of a million nuns! (Also, their throwing ability.)
Tonight, the Patriots have turned the tables on the Broncos.
And there ain’t no help on the way for Tim Tebow.
Nope…*looking skyward*…not even him.
“Tom, my NFL consigliere, what brings you here today?”
“Forgive me Father, but I have a delicate issue to discuss with you. This QB from Denver. I think it’s time I taught him a lesson and sent him home for the offseason. I thought I did it once, but he has returned. This time in my own home. This is unforgivable to me.”
“You are right. You dealt with him once, spared him his NFL life, & now he returns, seeking revenge? It is time for this QB to be taught a lesson. Go out this week & silence him once & for all.”
“Thank you, Father. I knew you’d understand.”
“Of course. And remember: Leave the gun, but take the cannoli.”
“EHHHHHH..UGGGGGHHHHH…EAHHHH”
-Chris Berman, making some sort of guttural noise & passing it off as NFL analysis.
Thank You & Goodnight…
NFLOffseason: The NFL blog that told you Hakeem Nicks would be the star of the Giants/Falcons game, with the Giants winning, & also picked the Broncos to win(please ignore my analysis on how it would happen. Who cares about the details, amirite??)
BTW, I’ll be setting up 1-800-THE-WOLFE as a gambling line for all those interested.
Next week:
Saints at 49ers
Broncos at Patriots
Texans at Ravens
Giants at Packers
It’s going to be fun!
Falcons vs Giants(in N.Y.) & Steelers vs. Broncos(in Denver): Who Ya Got?
Random thoughts on the games today:
I have to recuse myself from any Giants/Falcons talk, as I am a fan of the G-Men. Sorry. Not really.
I could watch that Jets Pepsi Max commercial on an infinite loop. Seriously. I find a different little moment of unintentional comedy every time I see it.
Could today be the end of the Tebow run? We can only pray….
The Steelers offense is banged up. Normally I would say Steelers would have no problem, but there does seem to be some issues. Big Ben hurting. Mendenhall injured. Hines Ward being 48 years old. Plus, Denver is a tough place to play and if the Broncos can somehow stay close until the 4th qtr., “Tebow Time” comes into play.
Or Brady Quinn could end up playing in the 2nd qtr. after the Broncos fall behind 17-0. No way Pittsburgh loses this game, right? I hope you are all nodding in agreement.
Broncos 22 — Steelers 20. Hah! You never saw that pick coming. Denver’s defense & special teams will carry the day.
GO BIG BLUE!
I can’t just overlook this game. It’s not a good omen for the Falcons that they lost their best cover guy, Grimes, when going against a big time passing attack.
Victor Cruz may be warming up to do a little salsa dancing today, but I think Hakeem Nicks has a huge day today.
“Matty Ice” had better show up for Atlanta to win, as well as “Bad Eli”.
Forget I mentioned “Bad Eli”, but Giants fans know who I am talking about & fear him. He’s like the boogeyman, waiting to jump out & scare the shit out of you.
Giants 31— Falcons 21. Close game until the 4th qtr., when “Good Eli” hits Nicks with a bomb to put the game away.
SBNation’s Jon Bois uses math & science to explain the myth of Tim Tebow.
A really good read on the Bronco’s 6-game winning streak and how to make sense of it all.
