The fantastic Joe Mande called it; Alex Smith is the closest thing the NFL has to Dillon Panthers quarterback Matt Saracen, from Friday Night Lights. Let’s explore the parallels.
- Alex’s final drive on Sunday contained a miraculous last-second touchdown pass, like in the Season One state championship game, and a heart-breaking comeback from the opposing team, like the Season Three state championship game, and everyone cried tears of joy, like when Tami Taylor found out she was pregnant. (Please no spoilers, I’m still in the middle of Season Four)
- Matt Saracen had to care for his elderly grandmother, who was in the early stages of dementia. Alex Smith had to deal with offensive coordinator Jimmy Raye, who occasionally forgot what down it was. Once, in a goal-line situation, Smith had to burn a timeout AND sing “Mr. Sandman” to Raye just to get him to send in a play.
- Neither Matt Saracen nor Alex Smith has ever had a legitimate wide receiver to throw to. The emergence of Delanie Walker as a receiving threat is kind of like the episode where Landry caught a touchdown pass and Coach Taylor still called him “Lance.” Although Delanie Walker never murdered anyone.
- What they did have were Tim Riggins and Vernon Davis. Both are former disciplinary problems turned team leaders. Both started off as blockers, but when they were actually made a part of the offense, they became devastating weapons. Each has a brother with a drinking problem. Also both looked like full-grown men as teenagers, although for Riggins, that was because he was played by a 28-year-old.
- They also had Frank Gore and Smash Williams. Both running backs had obvious talent, but were ignored due to a knee injuries, and eventually paid huge dividends for the team that took a chance on them. Frank Gore never resorted to steroids, but then again, he also never had to work at an Alamo Freeze.
- Saracen was abandoned by his mentor, Coach Taylor, who left for a better job at TMU. Smith was abandoned by his mentor, Norv Turner, who left to run the San Diego Chargers into the ground. Frankly, I don’t think Norv is even qualified to be the head coach of TMU.
- Later, Coach Taylor chose J.D. McCoy over Saracen, and blew the state championship game because of it. Coach Mike Singletary started Troy Smith ahead of Alex, and blew the easily winnable 2010 NFC West division.
- Smith also lost his job to J.T. O’Sullivan, which might as well have been the name of a Friday Night Lights character. Offensive coordinator Mike Martz preferred O’Sullivan to Smith, just like Wade Aikman supported J.D. McCoy.
- In his title game win, Saracen defeated his archrival, Voodoo Tatum. In his division round win, Smith defeated a team from New Orleans, the most voodoo-friendly city in America.
- Matt Saracen had sex with his coach’s daughter. On the sidelines, Coach Mike Singletary once angrily suggested that Alex Smith go have sex with himself.
So what are we to expect as fans on Sunday? Will Alex Smith triumph against the New York Giants, the Arnett Meade of the NFL? Will the rain turn Candlestick into a Mud Bowl? Will Alex Smith be distracted by his father’s unexpected return from Iraq? Did anyone ever find out what happened to the Latino kid that Buddy Garritty adopted?
All will be answered soon. Who’s got clearer eyes and fuller hearts than us? Nobody!
(Sean Keane)
